Twelve Thirty Four

2004-08-24T13:17:00.000-04:00

Where are you going?

I am done here. I may be moving on to some place else and when I do the people who read this blog will know if and when I do. There is no real reason why I am leaving, except really that this has gotten boring, life has taken it's toll and I just don't have the strength or concentration for this or anything else.

It was fun, thanks for reading.

Paris

2004-08-17T10:01:00.000-04:00

Meme via Kat

I have never seen this before but it looked funny so I thought I would try.

So this is the month of February....

FEBRUARY:~~Abstract thoughts~~. ~~Loves reality and abstract~~. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. ~~Attractive~~. ~~Sexy~~. Temperamental. ~~Quiet, shy and~~ humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. ~~Loves aggressiveness~~. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but those not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends ~~but rarely shows it~~. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

yup the rest is pretty accurate, guess i was born on the right day after all.

2004-08-12T16:17:00.000-04:00

Something borrowed, something new

If you take a look on the right side of your screen and scroll down past the archives, you'll see something new added to my blog. It's from Flickr, and it's a new way to show off your pictures online. It's fun too because I can point things out in certain pictures that are of note.

So take a look and tell me what you think.

2004-08-11T11:35:00.000-04:00

Cold Fronts

It's been awhile since I posted on this site and thought that maybe it was time to show all of my 3 readers that I was still alive. There is no good reason why I haven't posted, nothing bad has happen to render me useless with a keyboard, I just have had nothing to really say. The summer has come and gone here in Toronto, lately the weather has been cold and cloudy and nothing like it is supposed to be in August. But I can't complain, because even this is better than having to shovel a 20 foot driveway full of snow.

So like I said nothing great has happen and nothing has changed, I am just here, sitting on my back porch reading a book and waiting for the sun to come out.

How has your summer been for you?

2004-07-23T13:08:00.000-04:00

Suntan lotion, beach towels, bikinis...these are a few of my favorite things......

Well kids it's that time of year again where I say good-bye to the awful, cruel, fast paced city, and head up to a more relaxed, calming, inspiring destination. I am heading up to my beach house.

I will sit on the beach, take walks on the beach, do cartwheels on the beach, underwater handstands, rock diving, and many other beach related things. It will be the weekend to remember, or so I hope. Part of me wishes I was going with other people, or better yet, alone. But I know that with this certain company I will still have a good time.

Bringing back the summer of '91 this weekend, and loving it!

Hope you all have a great weekend! See you back on Monday, with lots of pictures!!!

2004-07-22T15:02:00.000-04:00

santeria - sublime

i don't practice santeria i aint got no crystal ball.
i had a million dollars but i'd, i'd spend it all.
if i could find that heina and that sancho that she's found, well i'd pop a cap in sancho and i'd slap her down.
what i really wanna know, my baby, what i really want to say i can't define.
well it's love, that i need, oh , but my soul will have to, wait till i get back and find heina of my own.
daddy's gonna love one and all. i feel the break, feel the break, feel the break and i got to live it up, oh , yea huh, well i swear that i.
what i really wanna know, baby, what i really want to say i can't define.
that love make it go, my soul will have to...

what i really wanna say, my baby, what i really wanna say is i've got mine. and i'll make it, yes, i'm comin' up.

tell sanchito that if he knows what is good for him he best go run and hide.
daddy's got a new .45.
and i won't think twice to stick that barrel straight down sancho's throat.
believe me when i say that i got somethin for his punk ass.
what i really wanna know, my baby, what i really wanna say is there's just one, way back, and i'll make it, yea, but my soul will have to wait.
yea, yea, yea

** for some reason when I hear this song, I feel like I should be driving down some interstate to Mexico

2004-07-20T15:11:00.000-04:00

Float on - Modest Mouse

I backed my car into a cop car the other day
Well he just drove off sometimes life's ok
I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what can i say
Well you just laughed it off it was all ok

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on any way well

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scamIt was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on the exactly the same day
Well we'll float on good news is on the way

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on

Now don't worry we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry we'll all float on
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavywe'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Ok don't worry we'll all float on
Even if things get heavy we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Don't you worry we'll all float on
All float on

2004-07-18T19:56:00.000-04:00

Heroes, Songs, Engines and Grasshoppers

This past weekend is a bit of a blur, and as much as I would like to tell you that it was from a lot of heavy drinking, it's not, it's actually from doing too much in such a little amount of time.

I saw Spider-man 2 this past weekend, and I have to admit it almost had me in tears, and I say almost because I forced myself to hold the tears back.

I love the whole idea of superheros and I really wished that they existed in real life. Like tell me you wouldn't think it was cool if there was a bank robbery in progress right in the middle of you signing your mortgage papers and then bang, all of a sudden out of now where come this man in a blue and red, or any two colors for that matter, to save the day. I would love it! And I think I would be in love with said superhero and I think it should really be Tobey Maguire.

Then last night we decided to head into the city after a long day of cleaning, shopping and cooking, to see what kind of "crazies" were out. And let me tell you that there was a ton! of crazies out last night. But we had a good time anyway, walking the crowded streets, talking with random "non-crazies", and dancing on the corner of Peter and Richmond. It was great! Until the drive home when my friends car was having engine trouble, which left us stranded on Bloor till 4am when the god damn thing started up again. The rest of the way home we just rubbed the dashboard while praying and saying good things about that piece of shit car.

This morning we all headed out for breakfast and down to walk along the waterfront and throw rocks in dirty Lake Ontario. Then I came home, went online and realized that I hadn't blogged in a while and that I have a bad habit of doing that. So I decided that when I have nothing to blog about, I am going to post the lyrics that the song I currently have on repeat in my cd player and car.

And that folks sums up my weekend and pretty much explains the title of this post, well all of it except that grasshopper, which flew into my friends ear today while walking along the waterfront. I was frickin' hilarious, until one threatened to jump into my ear.

2004-07-13T13:44:00.000-04:00

An end to a somewhat era

Since September 4th, 1984, we have owned a summer house near the lake, and ever since that day we have been spent many weekends and weekdays up there on the beach, sun tanning, swimming, relaxing and creating great memories.

The till-this-day never paved road consisted of other summer homes occupied by cousins and now close friends of the family. Until I was about 14 years old, me and my family and all of our neighbor's up there would spend the last week of July and the first week of August up there all together. In the morning all the kids, about 15, ages ranging from 10-24, would head out for a walk after breakfast, then go down to the beach from 10am till noon, head back to the house, have lunch, and then head back to the beach from 2pm till 4pm. We would have swimming competitions, diving competitions, beach volleyball games, and sometimes sun tanning competitions.

At night, once we were all showered and clean, all of us would head to my backyard and have BBQ together. The kids at one picnic table and the adults at another. We would laugh about what happened earlier at the beach, or cheer about how the girls bet the boys in the beach volleyball competition. We would help clean up the dishes and then all 15 of us would head to a nearby arcade.

Some nights we would have a bonfire at one of our houses and talk about our lives back in the city, about what subjects we decided to take next year in high school or what major we decided on in college, and who we were dating back home. Other nights we would play hide-and-go-seek till midnight, or take long walks to nearby neighborhoods at 11 o'clock at night.

This continued for many years, until of course we all got older, got full-time jobs and decided to get married and have children. And till this day when we are all up there we talk about those summer nights spent together running away from raccoons, or hiding our hair from low flying bats and thinking that things were never going to change and that no matter what we could always count on seeing each other up there.

Yesterday my sister went up there with her family and called to tell us that just yesterday a for sale sign went up on one of the cottages that belonged to close family friends. My mom looked up and said "The first of many." I got up from the dinner table, walked into the bathroom and cried for 25 minutes.

2004-07-09T10:07:00.000-04:00

(Insert your own title for this post here)

I thought today I wouldn't put a title cause I really can't come up with one at the moment, maybe later if I think of one I will post it.

Anyway, it's friday and that means it's the weekend and that means that I have time off from school and it's workload to have some fun. I seem to be having a hard time thinking of something to do. This weekend here in the city there is the Molson Indy, some street party or festival on Yonge Street, and the usual parties at various clubs in the city. All three things are of no interest to me, well except maybe the street party thing. But you see Yonge Street is a really really long street (the longest in the world actually) and I just wouldn't know what part of the street would be having the better party, know what I mean? So I think I will opt for some needless shopping on Saturday, followed by a BBQ in my backyard, followed by cruising the nearby streets and honking at people going to the Yonge Street Party, then crashing on the couch at about 4am, wake-up on Sunday, get some breakfast and then go down to the Beaches. Yes I think that it what I will do.

Happy Friday everyone and have a good weekend!

2004-07-04T22:22:00.000-04:00

Summer lovin' had me a blast....

Well I am back, it is 10:50pm and I just walked into the house about an hour ago. My weekend was really fun and relaxing. My days as I mentioned before were spent lounging on the beach getting a tan, swimming and playing beach volleyball. The evenings were spent making BBQ, sitting under the stars around a bonfire and sharing stories from when we were 19 years old. It was a blast and it was a great getaway that I think we will be doing at the end of the month again. I really needed this time away from the city and the hectic life that is Toronto living and to do some thinking about the next few steps I need to take to make this future of mine a little bit better and a lot more interesting.

I also realize that today is 4th of July so a Happy Independence Day to all my American friends!!!!!!!!

2004-07-01T12:49:00.000-04:00

God damn wireless internet!

So much for no communication with the outside world.....someone brought a laptop with wireless internet and all I brought was a floating double bed for the water....silly me I thought we were going to the beach and all I needed to bring was some tanning oil, beach towels, a bikini, and the lovely water bed that everyone loves and is using in the water to get a better tan!

But of course I decided to take full advantage of his wireless internet and post and comment on your blogs.....good times good times....my cell phone is still off, that's a good sign....

till I post again...Happy 4th of July to all my American friends this weekend!

2004-06-28T17:27:00.000-04:00

July 1st

It's a long weekend this weekend and for once it will actually feel like the weekend to me, why? You ask, well that is because I will not be here from Thursday morning till Sunday night. We are going away for the weekend, a much needed and anticipated break from the city. I will pack my bags, turn off my computer and cell phone and spend some relaxing, quality time on the beach with a magazine and a good book and some good friends. I am really excited, I haven't done this since I was 21, wow a whole 5 years.

2004-06-25T09:46:00.000-04:00

Here there and everywhere

I haven't blogged in a while, I think about a week, which is a lot considering I used to blog every weekday and sometimes on the weekend. I've been kinda busy, but not really. I've had school work to do and some errands to run, but nothing major. I just didn't really have anything blog worthy to say. I mean I can't post everyday about tanning, or reading magazines or watching TV, I will add however that soap operas are really tacky.

My days have been spent lounging outside, going for lunch, taking tests, completing assignments and enjoying the summer off. Other than that nothing is new.

So for now I leave you with this and I hope something exciting happens this weekend and I can post all about it!

2004-06-17T11:38:00.000-04:00

Summer Rules

For the past, oh I'd say 10 years, I have been following the same rules each summer, and they are fun ones to live buy, so I thought I would share some with you.

1. Always wear your swim suit under your clothes because you never know when you will encounter someone with a pool. (this includes casual Fridays at work)

2. Once you stop wearing closed shoes with socks, you are to never put on a pair of socks again until the temperature goes below 10 degrees.

3. You can never be too tanned. Once you get some colour, get more and more and more.

4. Never use anything higher than Tropicana Dark Tanning Oil SPF 4 on your legs. They take forever to get dark. Always use SPF 15 or higher everywhere else until you no longer burn.

5. Always have your toes nicely polished. I don't me get weekly $25- $30 pedicures, do it yourself at home.

6. Hit the beach whenever you can. Here in Canada we have 9 months of winter and 3 months of summer. HIT. THE. BEACH. A LOT.

7. Flip flops and tank tops are a must. Enough said.

8. Bikinis are always fun when you have a funky print on them.

9. Always dress like a surfer chick. You never know who is watching.

10. Always keep a towel and boardshorts in your trunk. See Rule #1.

So those are my rules, do you have any?

2004-06-14T19:26:00.000-04:00

Let me clear my throat

There has been a lot of confusion on this website today, so I will straighten things out. I am not engaged, nor will I be anytime soon. That would just freak the shit out of me and I would lock myself in my room for days in hopes that it would all just go away. Yes I am a little weird when it comes to my own engagement, and I am not your typical girl just looking to get married. Not that anything is wrong with those types of girls, it's just not who I am.

2004-06-13T14:58:00.000-04:00

Me settle down? Never

For years there has been this type of woman, the "single sister" as I would like to call her, that has been portrayed in the movies as the independent, carefree, always on the go, type that you could call on for anything and they would be there in a minute. Always showed as the one who would walk into your home, open your fridge and help themselves to whatever they wanted. They loved your children and your children usually called them their favorite Aunt. They helped you set up birthday parties hours before it even began because they had no children or "family" of their own to hold them back. They were the "fun" sister and all of your friends who only had brothers, wished they had one for themselves.

For years I have been this sister. Actually for 9 1/2 years, 2 nephews and 1 niece I have been this sister. The one you could call on for anything, at anytime any place, I would be there at the drop of a hat. In my family I am know as the cool aunt who when you turn 18 will take you to get your first tattoo and keep it a secret from your mom. I am the cool aunt who will jump into a pool fully clothed to splash as much water in your face. I am the cool aunt who will take you to McDonald's and let you get the happy meal only for the toy. I am the cool aunt who will show up at your house with ice cream on a really hot day. I am the cool aunt who will buy you all those silly toys you put on your wishlist at Christmas time. But all in all I have been the aunt who will always be single, carefree and independent, and who will one day when your old enough to understand, teach you how to be this way.

But now, 26 1/2 years later, I am the aunt with a brand new joint account who is planning on a long term commitment that is freaking the shit out of her.

2004-06-11T09:02:00.000-04:00

Who's down with G-O-D?

The movie Saved! comes out tonight and I am dying to see it, two reason:

1. Mandy Moore throws what seems to be a bible or some sort of Christian book at a girl while she screams "I am filled with Christ's love!"

2. The movie look hilarious!

I heard that some people were getting offended by the context and storyline of this movie, seeing as I am Catholic, I don't see how. Maybe if I was Christian I would understand. Either way I hope none of you hate me for saying I want to see this movie.

Anyway, it's Friday, it's the weekend and since there is no longer a Friday Five, I decided that maybe I will start my own thing for Fridays. I decided that on every Friday I will post and audioblog. Either me talking or playing a song. I am not 100% sure yet and I would like your feedback. Let me know and then I will go from there.

2004-06-09T15:54:00.000-04:00

PhotoBlog

I came across Terrence's photo blog the other day and decided that that would be a really good way to display my photos online, but I have no idea how to do that. Does anyone out there have any idea how to do that?

If you do please let me know!

Thanks!!!

2004-06-09T13:30:00.000-04:00

Ryan this one is for you, on this hot sunny day....

2004-06-09T09:56:00.000-04:00

If my memory worked...

Last night while I was falling asleep I thought of something to post about, and since I was already at the point where thoughts and sounds seemed like a dream, I didn't bother getting up because I thought "hey I will remember this amazing post in the morning!". But alas here I am and I have no idea what the hell I was going to post about. No clue what so ever. I thought that maybe if I signed on to blogger and sat here for about 15 minutes just staring at the interface I would remember that ever so brilliant post, and still my memory has not drugged up any recollection of the post. So for now I leave you with this. Chances are that while I am out I will remember so if I do I will audblog it if I can.

Till then, have a nice day!

2004-06-07T08:51:00.001-04:00

Last night, she said...

As I went to sit on the porch last night at 9:24PM I noticed that it was still daylight. I love summer nights like this. I missed these days so much.

Just thought I would let you know.

2004-06-05T16:10:00.001-04:00

This ones for you

In yesterdays post I thank people who helped me come to a decision about going back to school and there was one person that I actually thanked, but did not mention his name because when we spoke about going back to school almost daily on MSN, I thanked him a million times then, but I guess he wanted mention on this site, and who can blame him. So here you go,

THANKS A MILLION MATT STAHL FOR YOUR ENDLESS SUPPORT, ADVICE AND FOR LISTENING TO ME WHEN I WAS COMPLETELY LOST AND CONFUSED! THANKS FOR ALL THOSE COUNTLESS MSN HOURS!!

and I even linked your site just so you would feel extra special!

2004-06-04T10:20:00.000-04:00

He left me on Friday, and ruined my weekend

I finished 2 1/2 courses so far in school and I am still loving it! I am really eager to hurry up and finish and actually start applying my knowledge.

I was thinking back yesterday on how I was really confused a few months ago, with no direction and no motivation to do anything about it. I remember posting about it and I also remember a few people out there who gave me some great words of advice. So now I would like to take the time to thank them. Jenny, for telling me that I could do and be whatever I wanted, as long as I tried. Kat who said that having education was always a good thing. Terrence who told me that it was never to late to go to school, actually he told me a story about a friend of his who was thinking of going to med school and wasn't sure because he when he was done in 4 years he was going to be a 32 year old doctor, and then someone told him that regardless of whether or not he went to school in 4 years he was going to be 32 years old. Does that make sense? Or did I butcher the story?

Anyway point being, if it wasn't for those 3 people and a few others here on this end, I would never have given going back to school a second thought. So THANKS! a million, I really appreciate it.

2004-06-02T16:41:00.000-04:00

Strange but true

I am having a hard time posting these days. It seems that ever since I stopped working I don't have much to talk about. How could this be? I have more time to do things for myself and enjoy this time off but I can't. I have nothing really to do besides school work, and who really wants to hear about that? I really don't know what I can tell you. It's not the greatest weather out here, for about 2 weeks now it has been raining most of the time and it has also been very cool, it's reached a high of 18 degrees, that's it, and it is June now. I wish I lived by the beach, this I can tell you. It would be so much easier for me to get a nice tan if I lived by the beach. Oh yeah and I wish I was a socialite, ya I know pretty shallow but still a wish of mine. If you think about it all you would have to do is just go out and shop and then go on vacation to all these exotic locations, sparing no expense! You would be invited to all the best parties, have designers begging you to wear their clothes and you would always be in a magazine! I wouldn't mind showing up in an issue of Intouch Magazine, with a caption that read "Blissful Princess Easy Life" or even "Paris Loves to Party", actually I have seen that one but it wasn't about me.

Anyway I am rambling now and it is 4:49pm here so I've got to go find something to watch on t.v. Yes I know pathetic, I should be saving something or someone but I am too lazy to move.

2004-05-25T12:54:00.000-04:00

Holiday, celebrate.....

My weekend here was a long one, yesterday was a holiday, Victoria Day, I do believe we were celebrating Queen Victoria's birthday, but don't quote me on that because I never paid attention during history in school and sometimes I really regret it, oh well I digress.

So my weekend really wasn't too action packed, it rained pretty much all 3 days and at times we had tornado watches, yup tornado watches, at one point this weekend we could have been saying "were not in Kansas anymore". So anyway, I really didn't do much, I watched movies, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", which made me no longer long for a road trip across the US, seeing as there are some really weird folk that live in your back woods. I also lounged around the house, visited friends and slept in, which I haven't done in a very long time ever since I started school, which by the way is going very well. I don't want to toot my own horn, but in my first class my final grade was a 98%. Toot, toot!!

Other than that my weekend was ok, nothing to exciting, but still nice.

2004-05-21T09:25:00.000-04:00

Come on Sunshine

This weekend is a long weekend here. I am excited and I am not even sure why, I think it may have something to do with leftover "long weekend happiness" feelings from when I hated my job. Now things are different, but I am still excited.

So today I tried posting a picture on my blog using Picsa and BloggerBot, but I had no such luck. I am not to sure what my mistake was, I am not sure if I am supposed to download the 15 days free trial of Picsa's software for photos. All this stuff confuses me more than I need be confused so I stopped trying. Good times.

So there really is nothing new to tell you. Things don't really change on a daily basis here anymore like they used to so that is why I don't post everyday, but I will try to.

Since there is no friday five anymore I will post a question here for you guys;

What are you plans this weekend?

2004-05-18T02:24:00.000-04:00

Tell them all I needed this

Things here are heating up, not only weather wise, but summer fun wise....well not really, but I know they will soon. It's getting warmer and warmer and I am enjoying this whole no working thing, almost too much.

So I've decided that if this whole school thing don't work out I am going to fly to New York and BEG! I mean BEGGGGG!!! the producers and writers of SNL if I could join the cast in the fall, you know cause Jimmy Fallon left. No seriously if there is anyone out there reading this with an SNL hook-up, please umm....hook me up! It would be greatly appreciated. I have always been a HUGE fan of the show and I am not embarrassed to do any of the skits that Tina Fey writes for me. Also I am perfectly capable of laughing during the skits with the best of them.

I think I may have posted about this in the past, and I apologize for repeating myself, but I really want this to happen. Fine I had no formal training, but I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh, and ok fine I will admit it, I do sometimes like to be the center of attention.

Anyway enough of this begging and self marketing, it's 2:33am here and I need to get some sleep for school tomorrow.

2004-05-14T10:35:00.000-04:00

An Open Letter

Dear Baby Jesus,

When will Jennifer Aniston stop crying? When will Britney and Justin get back together? What can you do to help Martha stay out of jail? When will Jennifer Garner return my calls? I just want to be friends. When will my neighbor's dog learn that it is not nice to bark for an hour straight at 2 am when I have my window open because my bedroom is like a raging fire from below and everyone refuses to put the A/C on? When Baby Jesus, when?

Paris

2004-05-12T19:04:00.000-04:00

Hot time, summer in the city.......

Wow it is hot here today! I mean I am on FIRE!!! It was 29 degrees here and with the humidity, it was 33. I love it, I really do. It hasn't been this hot since last August and oh how I have missed this weather so much. It's even nicer now that I am at home and I can enjoy it sitting in my backyard, that's right, backyard. Other than that I sit in my room doing school work or drive around with the windows down and let the air blow through my hair!

But other than that not much is happening. I'm not complaining though, I love the way my life is right now, and I think once I am done school and working in a job I love it will be just as great. I am really trying to enjoy this warm weather cause I have a feeling it won't be this warm in the next couple of weeks.

That's it for now. Come back soon. I have a feeling my stories will only get funnier.

2004-05-11T16:20:00.000-04:00

Welcome Back

I am back, from what was a well deserved break. After I got laid off from work, I went into bitter spiral of negative thoughts. I wasn't myself and decided that there was no need for the temporary me to be on the internet. So I sat back, waited out this bumpy ride and now I am back, better than ever.

In the past month and a half a lot has happen. I won't fill you in on all the boring details, but I will tell you that I am still not working, by choice, but I am actually going back to school to get a degree and finally do something with my life that I want to do. That was the key element missing all these years, I wasn't doing something I wanted to do, I was doing something I had to do.

But now I am back. It's really warming up here and I can't wait until it is officially summer. I plan on sitting in the backyard all summer and getting a nice tan. Other than that I plan on going swimming, drinking and enjoying my freedom from a 9 to 5 job.

So that is where I have been, maybe some of you have missed me, maybe some of you never noticed, but I am back.

2004-03-31T19:36:00.000-05:00

In my dream, I am standing in the middle of my room surrounded by cardboard boxes and newspaper clippings from the past 26 years. I woke-up to realize that the dream wasn't to far from the truth. Things here are changing, some welcomed others, a pain in the ass.

There are down payments to be made, mortgage papers to fill out, clothes to be ironed, new beginnings to begin, cars to be started and lawns to be mowed.

This may not make any sense to any of you, but to me it means I will no longer have time for this blog, let alone patience to accept it's drab colour scheme.

So in my absence, the pink eraser is in charge. I will stop in on your blogs from time to time and I will return with something new and something better and something a little more real. Not here per say, but those who know me will know the new address.

Until we meet again.......

Paris

2004-03-30T14:27:00.000-05:00

I am real bored and it is starting to show.

Nothing really exciting is happening here other than it won't stop raining. It started sometime last week and it is still raining here everyday. I can't even wash my car because it seems pointless to pay for a car wash when the rain will ruin it in seconds.

So it has been a while now that I have been an out of work bum. I wish it had happen in the summer and not the spring, because at least in the summer I could go out for a walk or a run, or even just drive around with the top down. I would probably have stories to tell you then, but for now this blog remains boring and lifeless.

I just might delete this site all together.

2004-03-29T08:44:00.000-05:00

....and Kat had pink hair

She was walking around the office with another 5 or 6 women with pink hair as well. One of them was holding a sign that said "Vote Yes On Casual Fridays". They walked over to everyone's desk asking them to sign a petition and once you did they would give you pink hair dye to put in your hair so that when the bosses walked by they saw that you were for casual Fridays. When they came to my desk I signed with no hesitation at all. 80% was because I LOVE to wear jeans and 20% was because I got to dye my hair pink. It was right about when someone walked by dressed like a bear and was handed out bagels that I realized that this was only a dream.

2004-03-24T10:29:00.000-05:00

48 hours of Hell

It's a time when you realize that god is made of porcelain. It is a time when the big shiny bowl is the only best friend you got. It's a time when the term "dry heaving" takes on a whole new meaning. And it is a time when you realize you could never be bulimic. Yes my friends I am talking about the flu. I barfed till there was nothing left to be barfed out. I was MIA for a while and no one knew what the hell happen to me. People just thought I stopped calling, when in fact it was just a little to hard to pick-up the phone or send you and email when your barfing in 15 minute intervals. And now that there is nothing left for me offer this porcelain god, I am left with body aches that could cripple any heavyweight and I have such bad shivers that I could star in one of those chocolate milk commercials where they emphasize that you SHAKE THE SHIT OUT of the bottle. Yes there was a time yesterday that I wished I was dead, and I realized that this was a fate worse then death.

But then things got worse, I thought that there was nothing worse than barfing up yellow stomach/battery acid, but when you see a "For Sale" sign go up on your lawn, the lawn you spent many a years running in barefoot and carefree, well that is when your heart really starts to ache.

2004-03-20T00:33:00.000-05:00

Blinded By The Light

Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I got what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong, play the song with the funky break"
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in his curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Asked me if I needed a ride

But she was...
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night
Blinded by the light

Phantom Planet is on Craig Kilborn, so I really gotta go, well that and I am so drunk right now......

...what was I thinking......

2004-03-18T13:29:00.000-05:00

An Open Letter

Dear NBC,

Would you please, and I mean PLEASE reveal that Marlena is the Salem Stalker. Please for the love of God this has gone on too long. I am sure all of America wants this to be over, and so do some other people around the world.

Your addicted, unemployed fan,

Paris

2004-03-17T14:35:00.000-05:00

Nothing in Particular

Now that I am home, I don't really have much to post about. I used to post about how much I hated my job and how I was hoping to find a new one as soon as possible. Now I just sit here, at my desk at home, and think of clever things to write about.

Today is St. Patrick's Day and Nickelodeon is playing non-stop all day episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants, in honor of the character Patrick who is a starfish. I am not wearing anything green today because I don't look to hot in green. So I have opted for jeans and a grey NY t-shirt.

See what I mean, nothing is going on.

2004-03-15T23:58:00.000-05:00

August and Everything After

It is hot, and it is sunny. The afternoon sun hits the front porch like a million candles burning in a rhythmic pattern, almost hypnotic. The air smells of humidity and the freeways are filled with motorists wishing they would have opted for the package that had A/C. The beaches are filled with people sun bathing and playing beach volleyball inches away from the ocean.

I am here, it's 5 degrees outside and I can't wait any longer till this place warms up.

When I was younger I used to wish that me and my family lived in a town that had one of the best beaches to vacation at during the summer break from school. A town where I could work on the board walk in some small wooden shack and sell French fries and homemade burgers with my best friend. We would meet almost everyone who walked the on the board walk that stretched out as far as the beach. At night we would go to the drive inn and watch bad summer horror flicks because my best friends twin brother would work there and he and his friends would let us hang out in the booths with them, watching the movies while we munched on free popcorn and water downed fountain pop. Our days off would be spent, lying lazily on the beach for hours, soaking up the sun and eating popsicles that we would get free from the younger boy who has had a crush on us since his first day on the job 4 years ago.

The summer would have seemed endless, as the days would have lasted long past 9pm, and even after the sun had set, we would sit on the beach having bonfires and talking about what we would do come September when we would have to say goodbye to all the out of towners and start school again.

Hearts would be broken and friendships would be lost, and the summer nights would slowly start to end earlier and the town would go back to being it's normal quiet self. Fall would come and life would go on, and we would take comfort knowing that soon it would be summer time again.

I never got to spend a summer like that. I never got to do a lot of the things that I believe would have made me a different person and would have me in a different situation today.

Sometimes I wake-up in the morning and wish I lived on my own, so I could lie in bed all day listening to the Counting Crows CD on repeat. "Round Here" is starting to have more meaning to me these days. A lot more then it did back in 1994 when I purchased it.

2004-03-12T11:45:00.000-05:00

Up and Running

Tell me is the Beastie Boys "Sabotage" video not the best video of all time?

2004-03-12T11:30:00.000-05:00

audio post powered by audblog

2004-03-11T10:40:00.000-05:00

The Downside of Unemployment

Did you know that here in Canada books can cost you anywhere from $20 to $55?? And for someone who is not working that is A LOT of money to spend on books, so I couldn't purchase any of your recommendations yesterday. So here is my new plan;

Is there anyone out there that it willing to sell me their copy of those books for a real low price? Like say $10.00 CND, which once you receive it in the mail you can change to a bigger chunk of American change?

Please let me know, I will be forever grateful to you!

2004-03-10T14:34:00.000-05:00

Forever pulling the strings of my heart

My heart hurts and my stomach feels like a big empty hole whenever I think of this. I can't explain why, but it just does. I look at pictures and read stories about it and I find myself wishing I was there. It's like someone a long time ago sent me a postcard from Venice Beach that said "Wish you were here!", and I never forgot those words. But you see that never happen, no one ever sent me a post card from there. No one has ever brought me a key chain back from there either. I have never seen someone's vacation pictures from there, but still for nearly a decade now I have be fascinated with this place and I have no idea how or if I will ever get over this obsession. Some say if I visit I will get over it, and I think if I visit I might want to stay. Which wouldn't be a bad thing, just an expensive thing.

Is it that wrong to want to go see a concert at the Hollywood Bowl? Is it that wrong to want to walk down Sunset Blvd.? Is it that wrong to want to run into a famous person buying coffee at a Starbucks?? Am I crazy to think that things would be better if I were there right now? Instead of being here in this cold city, with cold friends and nothing to do all day and night? I don't think so. And so what if I think that the grass is greener on the other side, most of you live there, so tell me is it any greener?

2004-03-08T23:56:00.000-05:00

I need your help

When I was younger I used to read a lot, so much that I was at the library about once every two weeks. I used to read books for young adults, books by R.L. Stine, about all those high school kids who went to parties where someone got murdered and the beach houses in the summer where their best friends brother's ghost now haunted the place. I used to love these books, I even sometime reread them. And then one day it stopped probably about the same time I realized that I was getting older and getting to old to read these books. So I stopped all together.

Now these days with all this time on my hands and nothing challenging to do, I don't want to leave my brain not thinking and processing for too long. So I am asking for your help. I have no idea where to begin, so please leave me a comment about what books you think I should read, or better yet recommend I read. A lot of you who read this know the current state that I am in, I have reached a crossroad in my life with little direction, I want to move on to bigger and better things, but yet I lack motivation, even though Terrence stops by with his ever so greatly appreciated words of wisdom. So please help me, maybe some of you out there have read some good motivating books, please share.

Oh and by the way, please no self help books, I live in a world where reality comes second to televisions fiction, so keep in mind that I want to see the underlining message for myself, I don't want it to be pointed out in bullet point form or by chapter name.

Thanks a million in advance for your help.

Paris

2004-03-04T23:04:00.000-05:00

Day 15 - Ain't nothing working, ain't nothing right

The title of this blog is becoming more and more a future endeavor as we speak. I have looked for work now for the last 15 days and there is nothing out there worth applying to. I am not even sure if I know what I am looking for exactly. I am at a crossroad, a fork in the road if you will, with what I am to do with my life. I have a crazy Aunt who is in here late 70's who resides in San Diego, who on a weekly basis calls here to try and convince me to go stay with her for a month. I know what your all thinking, this would be great my reason to come out to Cali, a reason to come stay there for longer than I can afford cause someone wants me to live with them for a month, but what you don't know is that when I say crazy Aunt, I mean crazy Aunt. Every other week on one of her weekly calls to convince me to come, she forgets which one I am. She thinks I am married some weeks and other weeks she still thinks I am 5. So basically what I am trying to say without being mean is that I would have to watch her 24/7, which would mean I would only get to see her condo for a month, and really how much fun could that be.

So this is what I broke this down to; Life and God have a messed up sense of humor, here is the break down why:

1. I lose my job to restructuring

2. I have 4 weeks of severance pay.

3. I have nothing to do.

4. I have always wanted to go out to LA for longer than the 3 day trip I could afford.

5. I have an Aunt with an empty condo in San Diego.

6. My mom would pay for my flight.

7. Said Aunt in going crazy and she needs the constant care of a nurse.

8. I cannot go to LA to stay with her, even though I have nothing better to do.

9. I am stuck here for the rest of my life.

You see how things never work out for me. Now you have had a glimpse into my almost-always-these-days-pessimistic-life. And according to this spell checker I can't even spell. God help me.

2004-03-03T13:25:00.000-05:00

Lonely Place

It's gloomy here today. It has been gloomy here for a few days now. This weather really gets to me and I have no way of controlling that.

When it is sunny, I feel as though I can do anything or be anything I want.

But on days like today, it's hard not to feel like a failure.

2004-02-28T02:13:00.000-05:00

When is late, too late?

How long do your 15 minutes have to be for them to make a good, E! True Hollywood Story about you? Can it even be 15 minutes, or do you have to have a semi-lifetime acting career, or a career in the spotlight, that long exceeds both those of The Rolling Stones and Audrey Hepburn? Do you need the “Triple Threat”, or can a mere stint somewhere in the newspapers get you one?

These are the questions that have plagued me all day. In the mail today I received a card from my co-workers, well ex ones anyway. Inside were all their well wishes, how they will all miss my loud voice ringing in their ears as I walk in each morning and all the things I did just to make them laugh. It was like they all had a sample greeting emailed to them before the card was passed around, nonetheless it did the trick and I was glad to receive this on a day like today. But there were 2 that stuck out the most, both were from to ladies who knew me well and who knew how much I hated being there and how much I hated being attached to a phone and desk for 8 hours a day. At the end of their generic greeting each wrote this;

And there they were the 9 words that have been said to me over and over for the past 10 days, here is your chance to do what you want. In the beginning these words were encouragement, these words the glimmer of hope I looked for every morning, these words were what made me realize that the company did me a favor by the restructuring. But now, today, as I sat there reading the card in front of my computer idling on the want ads online, I realized that I am confused. What was that thing I was able to do now, what was that thing that my company had given me the chance to do?

I made a list the day this all happen, I made this list based on things I have always wanted to do, like acting, well being famous, writing, creating my own magazine, joining the cast on SNL, and being a photographer. To me at the time and for the past 20 years this list seemed realistic and I thought that if I really wanted to I could do all these things, but now they all seem like dreams that will never come true, dreams you have always known will never come true, even on that warm summer night in the park with a group of your friends all sitting around talking, where you declared that one day you would have accomplished one if not all of these things, you still kept that list close to you at all times as a reminder that money isn’t always everything and that happiness is. But today 10 days later I have no idea what I want to do or what that thing is, and all those good things that would make me happy, seem like something a 26 year old would have starting doing a long time ago, maybe sometime after high school.

So now as I sit here typing this somewhat of a confession, I ask myself, how late is too late? Or better yet, how old, is too late?

2004-02-25T00:03:00.000-05:00

Papa can you hear me?

I was watching Scrubs earlier tonight, about 3 hours ago, and I realized at the end of the show, while JT did his usual closing monologue, that I really, Really, REALLY like shows that do this. Even Sex and the City used to do it and I am sure a number of shows that I can't think of right now do it. I can't really explain why I like this, but I think it has to do with the way they put things that happen in that episode in perspective, they seem to explain how things turned out either better or worse and it just makes you think, well it makes me think.

Also tonight I was toasting an english muffin and I realized that it took 8 minutes to toast and not even toast to a nice shade of brown, I am talking practically raw in the middle. Why is that?

Tomorrow morning I am making french toast for breakfast, or as you few american's who follow Bush call it "Freedom Toast". :P

In other news tonight I took an online assessment test, it asked me 125 questions about how I see most people and another 125 about how I see myself, and then finally 50 list of 4 different types of jobs that I had to choose my first choice and second choice, here is a list of the ones I most often picked:

detective
writer
published author
photographer
magazine editor
reporter
magazine writer
advertising exc
commercial actor, like come who wouldn't pick this
singer
musician
actor
radio announcer
scout leader
camp counselor
youth club counselor
librarian, well this one was over a politician, welder and scientist
social worker

I never got to see the results, cause they are being sent to my career counselor, but really do you think I will really need it in writing when they tell me that for a living I should be planting a garden with troubled youth and writing down all the experiences with said troubled youth so that I can turn said experiences into a song, a song that I will be able to sing while I pretend to put books away in a library while I pose as a librarian, so I can spy on some lady who's husband hired me to be the detective who sees if she is cheating on him.

Like seriously, come on now, does anyone need this in writing?

2004-02-24T16:09:00.000-05:00

Man vs. Beast vs. The Littlest Groom

An Open Letter

Dear Fox Network,

What the fuck?

Paris

2004-02-23T00:55:00.000-05:00

Thank You

I could not have asked for a better way to say goodbye. Most people wanted her to be single and marry the city, but you couldn't have picked a better ending, kudos!

For the past year and a half, Sunday's at 9 was when I slipped away from reality and lived a more glamorous life for 35 minutes. Thanks for shaking things up a little.

Paris

2004-02-20T13:38:00.000-05:00

It's times like these I wish my last name was Hilton

Unemployed - to be out of work, see Paris

It just happened this week. I am ok with it. Here is a list of things I am contemplating doing;

joining the cast of SNL - come on Jimmy I can laugh just has hard as you in the skits

going to find Sarah Jessica Parker and convince her to have a Season 7

plant tomatoes

sell said tomatoes

become a doctor

learn to surf

take this time to travel to the west coast, LA and LV

shop, well become a personal shopper

make jewelry

continue this weblog

Fill me in on what you think would be the best next step for me.......

2004-02-16T19:56:00.000-05:00

Seasons change, feelings no longer exist

When I was a kid, every new season sparked some sort of joy in my life. Each first day of a new season I would jump out of bed, excitingly looking for snow, yellow grass covered with slush and sprinklers at high speed in both the back and front yards. Each season meant a new beginning a reason to start over fresh, a clean canvas if you will.

With Winter came Christmas, Christmas holidays, Christmas gifts, hot chocolate snow days and snowmen, outdoor skating and my birthday in February which ultimately meant more gifts and chocolate frosted cake with candles and smarties smothering the cake.

With each coming of Spring, my heart would race at the thought of jumping in puddles, raincoats, spring break somewhere warm with my family and later with friends and the Easter bunny who dropped off chocolate eggs at my bedroom door.

Months later summer would roll in, which meant vacations by the lake, no more homework, no more getting out of bed before the 10 o'clock, TONS of swimming, playing hide-and-go-seek till midnight, short shorts, tanks tops, and the fact that you could wear your bathing suit as underwear on a daily basis and no one would say a thing, because back then they too were thinking in the back of their heads, "you never know when you might make a new friend with a pool", so you always had to be ready.

Fall, regardless of the end of a summer romance and the starting of another dreaded school year, brought beautiful fall colours, trees losing their leaves, crisp morning air on the walk to school, Thanksgiving and the new fall prime time line up. And over the next few months winter would come and the cycle of ever changing seasons would begin once again.

This joy, this excitement and this love for the new seasons would carry on with me through high school, where along with the gifts and the swimming and the vacations by the lake, came later curfews, hunky hot boys from out of town, the love for summer fashion and weekends up at a best friends chalet for skiing and snowboarding with yet again hot young boys from out of town.

But as I get older and only 1 week into my 26th year I am realizing that things are changing, much like the seasons, the joy, the excitement, even the sadness that snow storms during Friday evening rush hour could only bring have slowly faded away. No longer do I long for the summer nights where I would drive around the city, windows down, music blaring whatever song was popular that week and the car filled with friends, the long drive up to my family's summer home on the beach for the weekend with friends, not even this season's fresh new looks for Spring and Summer. All these things no longer bring a smile to my face on a cold winter's day and they no longer spark a warm feeling throughout my body on snowy winter night, no longer do they hold a special place in my heart. For now as time has passed and people, like the season have changed, our close knit group that used to countdown the days till we could wear our flip flops again, has gone from 7 to 3 to 2 and I am afraid soon only to one. We have split up, they have moved on and are no longer in need of this friendship.

Just like I am no longer in need of the changing of the seasons.

2004-02-16T10:28:00.000-05:00

An Open Letter

Dear Carrie Bradshaw a.k.a Sarah Jessica Parker,

Why are you leaving? Please don't leave. You and me both know that you don't want this to end I saw you on Lexington Ave crying along side the rest of the cast. Why break both of our hearts, sign on for Season 7.

Your Biggest Fan,

Paris

2004-02-13T22:58:00.000-05:00

I Heart Glitter

Well it is almost here and people have been making it a big deal already. Yes you guessed it Valentine's Day. All over the World Wide Web and all over the streets people have been making a big deal about, with the flowers, the chocolates, the teddy bears (which are the worst) the balloons the cakes and with what would be the most ridiculous part, the singletons in this city (the woman) bitching about not having anyone to share this "special" day with.

Well I am here, a 26 year old woman in a relationship for over 3 years now, that not having someone on this day isn't all i's cracked up to be. You can share it with your family and friends, with your pets and neighbor's even with your mechanic or bag boys at the grocery stores. It's day to be happy and to show your love. Whether it's love for your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, friend, dog or someone who is just nice, go ahead, smile at them and tell them Happy Valentine's Day. Show them you care or that you have a crush on them.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!!!!!! You too Biz Stone

2004-02-12T18:45:00.000-05:00

For a good time call 555-1255

Have you ever been in a room filled with both strangers and friends and feel like you are alone? That no one there notices you and that no one there even see's you or cares to acknowledge the fact that they stepped on your $190 shoes?

I have been locked up in a room puking for 3 1/2 days. I know I could have used the word vomiting, but even with the word projectile in front of it it still wouldn't do any justice to the way I have been feeling these past 4 days. I have had the flu or better yet I have been feeling like I was about to die. Yes die. I know in the back of my head I was going to be fine once I had puked out a months worth of food, but in that time I swear I saw the light and it was a light vibrant green with a tinge of brown and orange. It was gross I will stop there.

Needless to say that when I finally showered today after 4 days and put on a pair of jeans they didn't fit me all to well, it seems like I have lost a few pounds and it seems like I have lost a few friends. Why? I don't know but I tell you this, if this is what getting older means and if this is what it felt like for you when you were lonely in middle school, well then I feel for ya and it's too bad you had to go through this at such a young age. Cause now at 26, it hurts like hell, and I can't imagine what it felt like at 8.

2004-02-08T02:43:00.000-05:00

It's Here

The big two six.....I am 26......happy fucking birthday to me.......

p.s. I didn't have as much fun tonight as I let on....just so you know

2004-02-07T11:43:00.000-05:00

You know your pathetic when.....

...while your out your mom calls your cell phone and asks you to pick up a birthday card for her.....that she plans on giving you....tomorrow....

2004-02-05T12:55:00.000-05:00

Of all the bars he had to walk into mine.......

Ever since he started dating Demi and hanging out with Diddy, I have lost all respect for him. But according to Quizilla, I am going to marry him. It must be true, the people at Quizilla know everything!

You are going to marry Ashton Kutcher. He is kind
and sweet, but pulls a lot of pranks (and
probably quite a few on you too!!)and can
always make you laugh.
Congrats!!

Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (now 12 (i just added more, and still more to come!)results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-02-04T10:36:00.000-05:00

Well Then......

I get it, you can change your URL, but god forbid you post!

P.S. I like this one better....A LOT easier to remember....hee hee hee

2004-02-03T15:50:00.000-05:00

Oh Well

I have nothing to post about today. So I will just bitch about getting. Which I don't feel like doing. Please see post below.

2004-02-02T15:06:00.000-05:00

It's gonna happen and there is nothing I can do to stop it....

I am turning 26 soon. Too soon if you ask me. I am too busy to turn 26. I am too young looking to turn 26.

2004-01-30T00:11:00.000-05:00

All the Kleenex in the world wouldn't help me today....

I just got back in from a bar downtown.....ya I am a little bit here and a little bit there.....I am in the basement and my cell phone has no service! Damn you evil mobility company!!! (Insert shaking fist in the air here)

It's 9 ok there, I am jealous......I wish it was still 9 o'clock here......I am off tomorrow, going bead shopping so I can start making jewelry......I will send you some, no worries.........now I guess your jealous....

p.s. I have a really bad cold. I feel ok, but man am I stuffed to shit in the nose area.

......oh and Kat, "we wear short shorts!!!" hey maybe if I come out to Vegas this summer/fall we can walk down the strip in "short shorts"......now there is something to think about.....you to Jenny, meet me there.......

2004-01-27T19:19:00.000-05:00

Don't you want somebody to love?

Last week I was sitting at a bar and the bartender kept trying to hit on this girl who obviously didn't want to give him the time of day. He was pretty good looking, nice eyes, sweet personality, and thick chocolate brown hair. He was a looker alright, but still she just took her drink walked away and never came back to that side of the bar. He looked at me because he knew I was watching this, and he just smiled shrugged his shoulders and walked off.

My heart kinda went out to him. I felt bad. As opposed to all the other bartenders in this world, he didn't seem like he was looking for a one night stand, he looked like he just wanted somebody to love and to love him back.

Which brings me to Average Joe. I don't get that girl. So what they bring on 8 good looking men and all of a sudden you forget the bonds you made with the other "average" looking guys? The 8 "lookers" we will call them, were your typical jocks, looking for some ass and an easy fuck. And like a typical girl who chooses beauty before sweetness, she melted for all of them and fell into the trap and made the "average" (which weren't that average looking, they were cute in their own way) feel really bad about themselves, and for that she should be kicked off the "island".

Why you may be wondering why this bothers me so much, well it cause I hate reality tv shows, and cause last nights episode made me cry a little.

2004-01-24T14:57:00.000-05:00

Something borrowed, someone new

Last night I posted before I headed out with some friends for drinks. I posted about time and about how everyone I knew on the web was 3 or more hours behind me. While I sat on the bar stool last night it occurred to me that here it was 11:45pm and somewhere on the west coast it was only 8:45pm, people were still getting ready to head out for the night while I was already 4 drinks into my night. Then it hit me, I am a lot more interested in the lives of people online then of the people sitting right in front of me. Are they just boring, or have I become one of the millions of people who find technology a better way to communicate?

That being said I came home and surfed the net, downloaded some pictures and contemplated which photo printer I was going to buy in the coming weeks. I thought nothing of what had just happen at the bar, I just sat here wondering where everyone who's blogs I read were heading out for the night or where they were at that exact moment. Here it was 2:30am, but somewhere in LA and in Nevada, even Vancouver, BC it was only 11:30pm and people were either 30 minutes into the late show at the movies or standing in line at hot club on Sunset Blvd. For a minute I was envious, then I was actually curious. I had only seen pictures of the Los Angeles and I have only spent 4 days in Las Vegas, but part of me wished I was there living the lives of the people who post about them on their blogs. I wish I was on the West Coast.

I know your thinking that if I was on the west coast, I would wonder what is going on on the east coast, but to be honest, I do wonder every now and then what the people in New York City are doing. What the temperature in South Carolina is and what the southerners are doing in Georgia.

I am fascinated by other peoples lives, a voyeur if you will, who is looking for inspiration in her own life. Sad it may seem to some, but to me, I am just trying to make sense of it all, trying to put the pieces together. Really trying to decide what flight I will leave on in May.

2004-01-23T21:25:00.000-05:00

Western Hemisphere

I didn't realize that a lot of the pages I frequent on the net are always 3 hours behind me....I am on my way out now, it's 9:24pm here........heading out for drinks with some friends, if you can even call them that.......will take pictures, will report later...have fun...

2004-01-22T13:59:00.000-05:00

Frustration

It's snowing here again. It's been snowing on and off for the past 3 weeks. I am sick of snow. I am OCD (mild case of it anyway) and do you what it means to be OCD, have ADD and it's snowing? Well I will tell you. I compulsively feel the need to shovel the driveway all the time. Even if it is not that bad, even if there is just some random snow or slush anywhere near the driveway, I HAVE to get out of my car and shovel it before I go anywhere, even if it means that I will be late for work.

As you can see I am still using this as my weblog, I haven't changed it and frankly I am giving in from frustration. I can't get it to work and I am just going to give in and quit! That's right folks I am a quitter! And I don't care. So if you want to see a picture of yours truly or pictures of crazy adventures I have been on since purchasing my digital camera, you'll just have to wait, or leave me a comment and I will email you them.

Last night as I was trying to figure out how to do up a new website I was watching the OC and I realized that I am addicted to that show, along with a few others. I realized that almost every night of the week I am obsessively watching a television show. It goes like this:

Sunday - Alias

Monday - The OC

Tuesday - The Real World San Diego

Wednesday - Gilmour Girls

Thursday - Friends and Will & Grace

Friday - Joan of Arcadia (then I go out)

Saturday - doesn't count, I am never home Saturday nights

Sick, I know, how I have my week planned out, and I am lucky that I can even sit through an hour to watch most of these shows. Oh and on Sunday mornings, I was The Royal Tenenbaums or Old School.

Here is a list of movies I still want to watch:

Lost in Translation
Torque
Win a Date with Tad Hamilton
Along Came Polly
50 First Dates

Ya I am crazy I know I jump from story to story, from list to list......I gotta go now, a fresh layer of snow just covered the driveway....

2004-01-20T20:35:00.000-05:00

Update

As you can see I am posting at 8:30pm Toronto time, and no I am not still at work, I am at home typing this on my new black computer (I say "black" cause I LOVE this colour) with my shit dial-up AOL internet access....this is really slow, I guess that is why it is taking me so long to actually get a web page up.....but it is in progress and it will be up soon, sometime this year.....hopefully.....unitl then.....

Dear Sarah Jessica Parker,

I was watching the newest episode of Sex and the City on HBO this past sunday, and I was wondering if you noticed that one of your outfits was very similar to one you wore in Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, circa 1985ish?

Your Friend,
Paris

2004-01-06T12:31:00.000-05:00

Out with the OLD in with the NEW

In the early morning of January 1st, 2004, I was thinking, it's the first day of a new year, a new year to change things, change my career, change my attitude, grow up a little and express myself. The bad news, as there always is some, this will be my last post here. The good news, I will be back, with other exciting things, with pictures, with stories, with a real identity. All this with the help of Type Pad a division of Movable Type. How long will this take? Ah I say a few weeks, I need to get a new computer at home and an internet connection at home to and then I need to start this all up. But in the meantime, this site will be up and running still, maybe I will post the progress of this new site and of course, finally when it is done, I will be back to redirect you all to the new and improved pulling_missions........till then que sera sera...Happy New Year.....drop me line sometime........pulling_missions@hotmail.com......don't worry, I don't bite!

Cheers,

Paris

2003-12-24T09:52:00.000-05:00

No Such Thing

Yesterday while at the mall I picked up the John Mayer CD, Room For Squares and it has been in my CD player ever since then, I have been listening to it since took it out of the plastic wrap that ensures that no one will steal it. I am even listening to it now while I am writing this post.

Today is Christmas Eve and I am at work, I know it sucks, but hey, this is the real world after all and here, you really have no say in the important things. In one of John Mayers songs he sings about the real world or better yet life after you graduate from school and in a verse he says "Welcome to the real world" she said to me condescendingly, take a seat, take your life, plot it out in black and white" and then goes on to sing, "They love to tell you stay inside the lines, but something's better on the other side." So I guess this is what I am wishing everyone, instead of a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, I am wishing you the complete opposite of what he is singing about and instead, what he is trying to tell us. Be safe and have an amazing time during the holidays.

All the best to you and yours in 2004!

See you in the new year,
Paris

2003-12-23T15:34:00.000-05:00

So this is Christmas and what have you done.........

Holy can you believe it is Christmas Eve tomorrow already???? Wow! where did the time go?? I swear it was July just last week. Maybe it doesn't feel like it cause there is no snow? Or maybe because it's raining or maybe because I am getting old and time is flying by and because Christmas just isn't the same anymore.

Well I still have no plans for New Years Eve, we all can't be as lucky as Kat who will just chilling down in Mexico......lucky girl....I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON!!!!!!!

I had something awful for lunch, now I feel awful. Oh well......

So if I don't get a chance to post tomorrow since I am only in a half day, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and to Kat, I hope you have a great New Year and a safe trip! You too Jenny since your heading out somewhere on Friday......have fun....where ever you will be!!!!!!

2003-12-22T15:25:00.000-05:00

On a sad note....

This morning I heard that Brett Favre's dad passed away yesterday. I feel bad cause it is only 3 days till Christmas and now it's ruined for him and his family.

2003-12-19T13:38:00.000-05:00

That's right it's Friday and I am posting!

No folks you are not seeing things, I am posting on a Friday, I know I know I haven't done it in a few months but today I can cause I am at work. It's too bad I have nothing to post about except this nasty ass cold I woke-up with this morning....ugh....

Reading a comment made by Kat today, I have decided to take her advice and announce a "Name this Blog" contest that is open to all my reader where I will give you a chance to name this blog seeing as I change it on a rather frequent basis. So submit your ideas in my comments from now till well next year at this time. If I pick your title you'll win a prize (prizes will be decided later), and to get your prize to you I will contact you via email or phone. So be sure to leave either a phone # or a email address with your suggestion for a title. If you don't want to leave me your phone # in my comments section then you can email me (you know for privacy reasons) at pulling_missions@hotmail.com

Other than that hope you all have a great weekend, while I sit in bed, sick and helpless!!!

2003-12-18T13:30:00.000-05:00

This might be the last one....

So I decided that starting January 1st, 2004 I am going to turn over a new leaf, start a new chapter, get my ducks in a row, you know get my shit together. I was thinking about this for the past 3 weeks. I am going to be 26 in a few months, isn't it time I started taking things a little more seriously, isn't it time that my daily routine involved things that made me happy and things that I wanted to do. So I did exactly that, I composed a list of "Things to do in 2004" and a few things on this list were exercising, eating better, being more health conscious, finally dealing with all my health issues that have been sitting on the back burner for more than 8 months now, but mainly I need to get a new job, I need to get out of this field and I really need to start taking more risks.

So in doing all this, start January 1st (or 5th, depending on when I post for the first time in 2004) I will start posting about my journey to being the person I really want to be. No more unhappy thoughts, no more negative words (well sometimes, a girls needs to vent every once in awhile, no?), just happy findings on my journey. I may even redesign this whole site, I may join movable type or blogger domain, I may even post pictures...gasp! Stay tuned, if you want, a new "Next Stop Arizona" coming your way soon.......and I may even change the title......again!

Paris

2003-12-16T13:30:00.000-05:00

I need more water

Yesterday night when I got home from work, I had a wonderful surprise, a Christmas card from Jenny and it was a BEAUTIFUL card that was made from one of her very own paintings, and if I wasn't such a retard with computers I would take a picture of it with my camera and post it so you all could see how talented Jenny Smith really is.

In other news nothing exciting really has been happening. Sunday it snowed (finally) making it look more "christmasy" and making me enjoy this cold, frigid weather we have been having.

I still have no plans for New Years Eve. If I had my way I would either fly to New York City or Las Vegas to ring in the new year in either city, but I can't, my job sucks, I can't get time off work to do anything but bum around at home, alone and depressed. Good times ahead, good times ahead.

What are your plans?

2003-12-15T14:52:00.000-05:00

December 15 - December 19

I am so busy I could just cry, well that and the fact that I have nothing to report from my boring weekend....well except to state the obvious.......American's everywhere are proud of their president cause Saddam has been caught.

2003-12-11T15:17:00.000-05:00

Best of 2003

Like every year at this time, me and my friends compose a best of (insert year here) list that we share with each other just to think back and remember the good times we had and all the good things that came out of that year. It's been a tradition now for about 4 years, and despite the fact that we barley see each other anymore, we still manage to do this and email one another. I decided to also post mine here in hopes to start another trend via my weblog.

Here goes.....

Best Month: June
Best day of the week: Fridays, I don't work on Fridays
Best Day at Work: The day 5 of us took the Beverly Hills 90210 quiz and Robert got the highest score.
Best Night Out: The night we were chased 5 blocks by a group of drunk pissed off guys.
Best Day at the Beach: The day we swam out to the deep deep end and Matt made us laugh and we all couldn't swim back. (trust me if you were there you would know it was more funny than scary.)
Best Gift: Hands down my digital camera
Best Drink: Chocolate Martinis
Best Movie: Old School and Finding Nemo
Best Concert: Coldplay and John Mayer
Best New Show: The OC
Best New Ritual: Watching the OC on Wednesday nights with my friends
Best Use of Video Camera: Driving through the snowstorm/blizzard back in January and the night we drove around honking at cute boys back in July.
Best Fight: At a bar with a White Trash Stripper......good times....good times...
Best Photo with Digital Camera: All 6 of us standing on the corner of King and something, all 6 of us way too drunk and doing different things, including Josh doing jumping jacks.

I am sure there are more, but this is all I have so far. I will add more when I think of more.

2003-12-11T12:06:00.000-05:00

Las Vegas here I come....again, for the third time......well in 4 years...

In 2 months I turn 26, and in 4 years I turn 30. I have decided that for my 30th birthday me and J are heading to Las Vegas since his 30th birthday is right behind mine. Seeing as when I am 30 I will own a home and have a HUGE mortgage, I have decided that starting the day I turn 26 I will open up an new account putting away $50-$100 a pay (depending on what bills I have that month) for the next 4 years. I have calculated that over that time if I put on average $75 a month I will have saved up roughly $3600.00 not including the interest made on this over the 4 years. So I will have $3600 (give or take) to surprise him with a 4 day trip to Vegas for our 30th birthdays! A nice surprise, no?

2003-12-03T14:49:00.000-05:00

New Years Eve

The year was 1997 and I was 19 years old. It was the second year that I was spending new years eve with friends and not my family. The year before we all were to young to get into a licensed club/bar so we opted to just hangout in a penthouse of a near by hotel. So this year was exciting, this year we would drink in the club, this year we would be dancing to music while we counted down, this year we were adults.

Our plan was from the beginning to meet up at Andy's house and then take only 2 cars downtown to the hotel we were staying at, get ready, eat some dinner, and start drinking then so that not a lot of money needed to be spent in the club. At about 10:45pm and about 2 cases of beer later, we decided to leave the hotel and head over to the club which was about 7 blocks down the street. We started to walk in hopes that the 7 of us could hail ONE cab, on the busiest night of the year for cabs in one of the busiest cities. Needless to say no one would take the 7 of us and it was to risky to leave anyone behind to wait for the next cab, cause chances were that there wasn't going to be any other cabs. So we walked, 7 blocks, to the club, in the blistering cold that was about 25 degrees below zero with the wind chill. But we laughed, took it in stride and made the best of it.

Once we got in the club, we all felt sober, I guess the cold does that to you, so after we checked our coats we made our way to the bar so that we could bring back that good feeling we had earlier in the hotel room. We drank and drank and finally we warmed up, and finally our wicked buzz had come back, now of course after downing another 3 or 4 drinks each, well you could imagine how drunk we were.

So we danced and danced and drank all night long. The floor shock underneath our feet each time we jumped up and down, it felt as though we were going to fall through, but we didn't care. It was New Years Eve, in less than 20 minutes it was going to be 1998, "1998 can you believe?", we shouted at one another while we danced around to Prince's "Little Red Corvette". The countdown began and Lisa and Matt who were at the bar ran over to find us and we all shouted "9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" in unison like 5 year olds at a birthday party. We all hugged and kissed and laughed, drank champagne and danced till about 4 in the morning.

Tired and staggering, we all walked back to the hotel, laughing at when Josh and I thought the floor was going to cave in, or when Lisa banged her head on the bathroom stale, when Dave kicked a cup that was lying outside of the club and then fell. When Matt locked himself in the bathroom and couldn't get out and Josh, Lisa, Eddie and I couldn't help him cause we were laughing to hard.

When we finally made it back to our room, I believe about 45 minutes later because we all kept stopping to either laugh or throw up in a corner or a garbage bin, we were all so hungry, so we ordered a pizza and chicken wings (just in case Jessica Simpson is reading this and thinks I ate buffalo) and hungout lying in bed eating and watching cheesy music videos on MTV until we all slowly started falling asleep around 6am.

The next morning I remember waking up at 8am to find Lisa awake and lying in bed next to me Josh and Eddie (we were only 19, no one worked full time so no one could afford more than one room so we had to sleep 4 to a bed, luckily we were all just friends), looking out the window at the snow blowing off the buildings next to us. We looked at each other and smiled, grabbed the phone and ordered room service for all of us.

We checked out at about 11am, so we could all make it home in time for our Lunch/dinner with our families. On the drive home I remember all of us talking and sharing things that we did that some of us couldn't remember. We all shared our thoughts, as different as they all were, since we all had different views of the events that took place the night before, but one thing was the same no matter what, that was the best night we had ever had, even though it was all planned last minute and by that I mean the morning of December 31st.

Six years later and I am still reminded of this one New Years Eve when everything was good and when we all made plans together. This year will be different, just like the past 4, that could never even come close to that night. Most of us won't be together, wait actually none of us will be together, and it's sad, and I want to go back and I know I can't. But me and Dave were just saying last night that we both would give anything to see him again fall from kicking a plastic glass on King Street at 4am.

2003-12-03T11:19:00.000-05:00

Because I haven't in such a long time...........

The Friday Five:

1. Do you like to shop? Why or why not?

Yes, I love it. Usually when I am in a bad/sad mood, buying something makes me feel better, even if it's just temporary.

2. What was the last thing you purchased?

A gift for a friend, a sweater.

3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Why?

I prefer shopping in an actual store, only cause I don't trust giving my credit card number to a website.

4. Did you get an allowance as a child? How much was it?

Nope.

5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing?

Hmmm, regret, probably a pair of shoes I only wore once.

2003-12-03T10:58:00.000-05:00

Just because I wanted too, and cause Kat told me too.....

2003-12-02T14:45:00.000-05:00

Hello my name is Paris, and I need a reality check

When I was younger, I used to think that you could do whatever you wanted no matter what, as long has you had enough courage and determination, your dreams would come true. These days I can't help but think that maybe we don't have all that control over our lives that I thought we had as a young girl.

I am not trying to be negative, really I am not, but due to some circumstances over the last 10 years, I have come to realize that a lot of our live changes and choices all lie in the hands of fate, destiny and the man above. In certain instances I have seen something I had thoroughly planned out turn in the opposite direction only to have something fun turn into a disaster. I have planned on going certain places at certain times, only to end up in a different location, about 3 hours late. I have planned on enjoying a day at the beach, tanning my little butt off, and returning to the city just in time to watch the sunset over my house while I sat on the porch with friends drinking, but only to be home nearly after midnight due to an accident on the highway, my accident, where I totaled the car I planned on going cross country in the next summer. I had to get a new car, leaving me penniless and living paycheck to paycheck, leaving me no choice but to cancel the cross country trip and spend the summer working long hours on hot summer days. It was sometime that year that it finally hit me that I don't have control over anything and that everything is based on fate.

This past weekend I saw an old friend of mine at a bar. I haven't seen her in over 4 years. I lost contact with her, well no, she actually lost contact with me. Either way, hadn't spoken to her or seen her or heard anything about her in awhile. Just last week while writing out my Christmas cards I came across her address in my address book and thought about sending her yet another card, just to let her know I was still thinking of her. And then it happen, I saw her. We both didn't recognize each other at first, but soon after we were talking like two best friends that didn't have 4 years of no contact between them. Later I wondered if this meant anything.

If things do really happen for a reason, what was the reason for this? Why did I see her this weekend? Why did I decide to go out instead of staying home? What meaning did this have in the rest of my life? I don't know the answer and I don't even know if this had a particular meaning. All I know is that if I really do have no control and have no say in the way things are going to be, I really hope destiny guides me to have "Trouble" by Coldplay playing in the background when I go.

2003-12-01T12:27:00.000-05:00

PMS maybe, but I highly doubt it!

An open letter.

To the Writers, Producers, Directors, Art Directors and Actors for the Hallmark commercials;

Can you please stop making holiday commercials that make me weep for weeks at a time.

Thank you,
Paris

2003-11-26T16:16:00.000-05:00

Just this once.....

To all my friends enjoying a 4 day weekend....................HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!! See y'all Monday morning, bright and early!

2003-11-25T09:20:00.000-05:00

No no, your not seeing things...

Yup! The comments are back alright, and what's that you say, it's no longer BackBlog. Well you are quick and so am I! That god damn BackBlog didn't want to work for me so I got ride of it and I am now the proud owner of HaloScan, well for now, till they piss me off like the others in the past and leave me sans comments for more than a week! I even reinstalled it before I gave up and nothing, nothing I tell you. So here I am, back again with room for you to tell me what you think!

So my weekend....hmmmm where to begin.....well Friday I went shopping and got another gift out of the way and then watched movies all day and night. Saturday I did some more shopping and got another 2 gifts out of the way, so now I have....let's see....3 or maybe 4 more to purchase, but these won't be hard.

Then Saturday night we went to a few bars and drank ourselves silly while we sat around making fun of all the people who walked around like they owned the place and thought they were the coolest people around.

Sunday I stayed in bed all morning and then got up around 12pm and headed out to visit some friends who I haven't seen in a while and hung out with them all afternoon. Then I went home and showered put on my most comfortable clothes and sat on the couch till I headed up to bed.

and that was my weekend, pretty boring. Nothing exciting ever happens here, especially in the winter. Oh and one last thing, how come the U.S. is so bloody lucky to be off for 4 days for Thanksgiving??!?!?!??! Now I REALLY have to move to California or New York.

2003-11-20T13:47:00.000-05:00

I burnt my tounge on soup

2003-11-19T15:04:00.000-05:00

What's up with my COMMENTS not working?

I forgot to mention this but 2 weeks ago I FINALLY got my digital camera! Yup, that's right, I can now take pictures and email them to friends and family....maybe even leave this blog and start a new one, maybe use TypePad, you know change things up a bit. I don't know what will become of this site, but I can only say it will be better in the end, whenever that is....

So nothing really new and exciting is happening at the moment. I am kinda bored and I am looking for things to do this weekend besides shop for Christmas gifts and taking pictures....

I'll see ya tomorrow I guess......

2003-11-18T13:17:00.000-05:00

No seriously, I really am like this

I have a hive. On my left wrist, the inner part, the one which displays all your veins and the area most often used to kill yourself. It is the most itchy part of my body right now that I am afraid to keep scratching because the skin is so thin that I might draw blood, so I am running it under cold water, that usually helps.

In other unrelated news, I am trying to learn how to sew from my mom, and can't. My brain no longer can grasp new concepts and I can no longer claim on my resume that I am "a quick learner". I officially suck! She tried to teach me how to knit last year and I couldn't do it then either. I think I am getting old and my ability to learn new things has disappeared. See I know this for a fact cause when I was 7 my grandmother taught me how to knit like nobody's business and I was good. I used to only knit scarves (come on now I was only 7) but dammit they were nice scarves. Now, well now I can't even hold the needles properly. I wish I could blame this on a glamorous life filled with late night drinking and weekend drug binges in a scummy downtown Las Vegas motel, but I can't. I am simply and boringly (if that's even a word) blame it on old age. Woe is me....sigh....

2003-11-17T13:33:00.000-05:00

"My God woman!"

So this weekend I took pledge to start working out, starting today. I decided not to tell anyone (well so much for that) because I find when I tell people they say things like "Ya ok, just like last month!", or "Ya right, did hell freeze over or something?" And although true, these statements at times can be very discouraging. So I decided to just keep it to myself, well except for you fellow bloggers.

What brought me to this decision you may be asking, well it's not the usual, "I need to drop a few pounds", although that is a nice perk, but the real reason behind this hideous decision (and if you know me well then you know why this is a hideous decision), it's kinda embarrassing, but I guess I will share. The bottom line, I AM SO OUTTA SHAPE!!! The embarrassing part you are wondering, well I was at the movies Friday night watching Elf and as I made my way up back up to the top where I was sitting, I decided to skip a few steps and taking 2 or 3 at a time in order to make it to the top before the lights went off and the movie started. I didn't fall or anything like that, but Saturday morning I could barley walk when I got out of bed cause I had pulled all my muscles. So my shopping experience wasn't the greatest.

To further punish myself, I went bowling on Saturday night with my boyfriend and his friends....needless to say I SUCK at bowling and only scored a measly 68 twice. Sunday morning yet again was a struggle to get out of bed, but this time not only did my legs ache, I had now pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and forearm. It hurts when I type for a long period of time, so this post took 2 hours to do.

I did some Christmas shopping this weekend and purchased a box of cards that I will mail out to friends, some of you reading this will get a nice surprise in the mail come mid December. I bought 5 out of the 12 gifts I have to buy.....7 more to go......37 days to go till Christmas...

2003-11-13T13:46:00.000-05:00

Walking in A Winter Wonderland....I guess

It's snowing here for the first time since last winter. No one was ready for this so this means that no one will know how to drive tonight on the way home from work. Oh woe is me.

I haven't written in a week or so, which is unusual for me cause I used to post everyday. But I am back, for now, I guess. This time of year is always hard for me to stay focused, stay positive and stay happy. November is always a hard month for me. I can never seem to see the silver lining or the light at the end of the tunnel. But there is hope, December is coming after all and it's almost Christmas which is one of my favorite holidays. So I guess I have some things to look forward too.

I was thinking of starting my Christmas shopping this weekend, you know, gifts, decorations, gift wrap, ect. I just hate putting it off till December when everyone else has decided it's a good time to start shopping. This way come December I can focus more on wrapping and baking and visiting.

Nothing else new is happening here with me. Nothing worth mentioning anyway. How are things with you?

2003-11-06T12:06:00.000-05:00

When the going gets tough, it's time for me to go

Do you ever have those days when you are tired of it all and you just want to give up the fight and just settle for what you have, win or lose? Ya, well that is me today. I am tired of this all. Even tired of writing in this blog. Tired of checking it for tickets to concerts. Tired of driving. Tired of working. Tired of being tired. Tired of just everything. Maybe I need a break from it all. I no longer think that the weekend is long enough for me anymore. So I guess I am leaving this place (well this blog) for awhile. No hard feelings towards anyone. I am just to negative these days that I think it in all of our best interest if I don't post for awhile. If you want to reach me, you know my number and my email address, if not just ask, I'll tell ya.

Take care and have fun.

2003-11-05T09:17:00.000-05:00

Just like that night you had your first kiss.....

My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury,
Or wear as jewelry, which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember
always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights
The scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
And this walk that we shared together

The streets were wet, and the gate was locked so I jumped it, and let you in

And you stood at the door with your hands on my waist
And you kissed me like you meant it
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it, that you meant it

**Dedicated to the last night in NYC atop the Empire State Building at sunset in the summer of 2000, looking over out at the Lower Manhattan skyline.

2003-11-04T13:31:00.000-05:00

One thing after another

I know I keep saying this and I am sure you are all tired of hearing it and I know I should do something about it and I know I am not the only one going through a quarter-life-crisis, but my god I am so sick of all of this. It all sucks. All of it. I hate it all and I want it all to go away. I know I am being childish and negative but I am surrounded by awful things. For one, it get's dark here now at 5pm, dark, I mean dark that you need to turn on the lights in your house or else you won't see anything. Second, it's raining, it has been raining since last Monday, except for when it stopped on Halloween, but started again Saturday. They say it is going to rain all week, until Saturday when the tempurature will drop to zero and it will change to snow. Third, I have no money. Seriously I am a broke-ass. I have bills to pay and no money to pay them with. Foruth, Christmas is coming, sooner than we think. Please refer to #3 to understand why this is a problem. Fifth, I am having a hard time getting up in the morning these days. I hate coming here. I hate it some much I contemplate jumping off the house so that I won't have to come here. I need a change. Sixth, I can't seem to find a new and somewhat better job. There are none, and the ones you apply for are all from agencies and the jobs they post are BS, they only post them so that they can get you into their database. ROTTEN!! And last but defintley not least, my god damn comments are working and this coke is giving me a stomach ache.

So that is my complaints in a nutshell. I wanna go home and I wanna cry, seriously I think the crying will happen soon.

2003-11-03T11:44:00.000-05:00

Are you busy today? Cause I am....

Wow what a weekend! Let's see.....I will start with Friday, and Friday started with me waking up and going all over town looking for a Halloween costume. Did you know that you are not to do this on Halloween cause you will only find shitty leftovers? Well I knew this, but I didn't find out about the party till late Thursday afternoon. So I had to take what I could get without looking like a tramp, so I went with angels wings and a halo. I know, lame and unoriginal, but hey what do you expect from a last minute excursion to the party store?

The party I went to was fun, we danced, laughed and drank till early Saturday morning, I think it was 4am when I rolled in. Someone took too many pictures of us that I am sure are incriminating if you were not at the party and you are looking at these pictures and no one is telling you the story behind them. If I can post them I will, if not I will just have to show you when I see you one day. But all in all it was fun, not as much fun as I am sure that you all had at Ryan's party....tell me stories and show me pictures please!!!!

Saturday afternoon I headed to the mall in search for a pair of jeans that fit me as well as Seven jeans do, but I didn't find any, I did however find that Seven jeans have no been increased to anywhere from $225.00 to $283.00 per pair (of course these are CND prices, god forbid I paid US prices). I hate them and I will no longer support Seven, as I am sure that they don't care because I am sure there are a lot of people who will still enjoy spending rent money on jeans. Needless to say I was depressed, so I bought a pair of red shoes instead and then when I went to a lounge Saturday night I wore them with my red purse. It was fun. I tried not to stay out too late Saturday night, but that didn't happen. I was out till 5am cause we stopped off at a hotel party on the way home. Then me and J came home and passed out on the couch. I woke-up Sunday morning at 10 and made a HUGE pot of coffee, changed out of my clothes from Saturday night and put on my jogging pants and laid on the couch all day with J and watched movies. I would have to say that this was the best part of the weekend.

Later Sunday night he went home and I watched Alias and then the Simpson's and Malcom in the Middle. Is it weird for a 25.5 year old to still watch the Simpson's? Yeah, I didn't think so.........

2003-10-30T13:21:00.000-05:00

Inspiration or desperation?

I was in a meeting here where everyone in there was excited in making this a better place to work and making us a more efficient company. As they sat there getting excited and involved, I sat there trying to stay awake, under the radar, and thinking "I HAVE TO GET THE HELL OUTTA THIS COMPANY".

So I got invited to a last minute halloween party for tomorrow night. I guess I am going. It should be fun, but I don't think it will be as much fun as Ryan's and I really wish I could have went to his even though he doesn't have a balcony for me to pass out on. I haven't decided on what I am going as, all I know is that I HAVE to dress up. I read some ideas on Jenny's blog this morning and I really liked a few of them, if I was a guy I would have totally ripped off her cousin Dan's idea for a "chick" maganet.

Other than that this weekend I will be sleeping and hanging out with J and the clubbing aswell on Saturday night. Just in case I don't get a chance to post again, HAVE A VERY HAPPY HALLOWEEN AND AN AMAZING TIME AT RYAN'S!!!!!

2003-10-29T12:01:00.000-05:00

The History of this Blog.....just in case you were wondering....

Hmm let's see where do I begin.....hmmmm....wait I know.....It all started back in December of 2002 when I was sitting at my desk one day frustrated with this job and it's lack of direction. I was sitting in front of my computer looking online and I was tired of looking at the same usual stuff, like Instyle.com, or MSN, and even my emails. So I typed "ihatethisplace.com" and it lead me to this bitter girls website where she spoke of things I only thought of and where she put up all her opinions whether they are good or bad. I then went to her guest book where I found other weblogs, I found this one called "everything is everything" and it belonged to this girl named Christy. It lead me to one called "Whittle Me This" who belonged to this girl Alisa. That lead me to "Me In The Corner" which belongs to Matt, the one we all know and love and laugh at his witty banter. That one lead me to a number of different ones; "The Medieval Bestseller", , "Geekjive", "One way mirror to the Soul" and "Sarah Hatter dot com". This one lead me to a whole bunch of fun websites like "Aubrey Sabala", "Dooce", "Willo O'Brien", "Jason Killingworth" (An amazing writer by the way) and "Jane for Short" who shares my love for Phantom Planet. I read these weblogs for about a month until Jenny told me that I should create my own. And I did. I took her good advice and I am happy that I did.

Through reading all these exciting, interesting, witty and intelligent weblogs I have learned a lot about some amazing people and some amazing things. I have learned a lot about the west coast and it made me realize why I really really really want, no need, to go to California. And for this, I thank you all.....

2003-10-28T15:09:00.000-05:00

Fast Forward

I really haven't had much to post about these past few days. I guess it because nothing new and exciting is happening that I could tell y'all about. The OC is on tomorrow night and I am kinda excited about that, I have to carve my pumpkin to put on the porch for Halloween and then I have to make a final decision about Halloween. Do I go to a club, do I go to a bar, do I go tick or treating, or should I go egging to loser ex boyfriends houses? I doubt that I will go egging, the only ex that I would want to egg his house has moved and I no longer know where he lives or if he is living in a condo.

I have no costume cause I decided not to dress up but rather just dress in all black, so people either think I am getting into that car to go to a party or actually breaking into it............ya I like that idea, maybe I will make people think I am going as a criminal........Hmmmm..........

It's only Tuesday and it is gloomy here and all rainy and I keep getting wet when I go outside with my friend while he smokes is cigarettes.

2003-10-27T16:15:00.000-05:00

Music to my ears

Last night I was watching Alias and I just love that show, even though poor Sydney is in love with someone who got married because she was missing for 2 years and he thought she was dead, (Damn you Vaughn you should have looked for her!) it's hard for me to deal with her pain, as you can see I feel it through the television. But I noticed last night, well almost every night that I watch TV, that in dramas there is always music playing the background for a scene and I have recently noticed how the music makes the scene so much better. The message impacts you more and you feel more for the character. Like last night at the end of Alias, Sydney goes back into Vaughn's hospital room to get her coat that she forgot and she see's Vaughn's new skanky whore of a wife kissing him and comforting him and you see Syd standing outside of the room with a sad look on her face, and in the background all you hear behind a soft mellow rift, "Don't worry, things will are gonna get easier soon, don't worry things are gonna get better soon....." and I just felt like I was standing in her body feeling her pain, cause I swear a tear rolled down my face when I was watching this happen.

So I just want to say to the people who do this, the behind the scenes work, keep up the AMAZING work you do!! Your truly the important people on the set!

2003-10-27T10:33:00.000-05:00

I know you need your Friday Fix

Ok so I am off from now on on Fridays and I will try to post on Fridays as soon as I get internet access at home that isn't $55.00 a month. I think I have to come in half day here this Friday so maybe you will get a quick post then.

My weekend was pretty low key, except Saturday when I was running all over town buying things and looking for things for my living room....long story.....and then I was too tired to do anything that night so I just watched movies on the Movie Channels and lounged and ate cookies. Sunday I did the same, just that I ate chips and salsa....I have been pretty bummed out lately so I haven't felt like doing much.

2003-10-23T15:28:00.000-04:00

Phantom Planet

I really like this band. If your not sure who they are, they sing the theme song to The OC, "California". I put this on my wish list. If you get a chance come see them this weekend in San Fran....they are a really good band.

Other than that I don't have much to say. Pretty relaxed weekend ahead of me so, I guess I'll see y'all monday morning...........have a good weekend!

2003-10-22T16:12:00.000-04:00

If I traded it all

upon reading other peoples web pages and weblogs I have come to the conclusion that I am not alone when I say that I am lost in my life and I don't know if I have made the right decisions. I know I wrote a post about regret last week but these past few nights before finally falling asleep I have never ending thoughts about whether or not there is a better life out there waiting for me, and I think there is, I just have no idea where I can find it. If there only was a way through the internet of course where you could go back to when you made your most significant decision and look at the "other" paths outcome would have been. Maybe this is something for the developers of Blogger to come up with. Until then I guess I will have to just sit back with the rest of you and wait. Wait for the next fork in the road to present itself.